"First, you think the worst is a broken heartListen to the song here!
What's gonna kill you is the second part
And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle
And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself
Fifth, you see them out with someone else
And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have f%&*ed up a little." - The Script
Whilst these lyrics are written specifically for people who have had a bad breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend, I feel it is rather relevant for any relationship.
So often, we begin new relationships and end others. It is always exciting to begin new connections yet it is so difficult to end ones that once meant so much.
When I heard this, I really connected with it because it is true that there are stages of grief we all go through.
The broken heart is always the first. That moment when you physically feel as if your heart has torn apart. It almost feels as if all functioning ceases to exist.
The second part that is not mentioned, for me, is the coming to terms with the loss.
The third is when your world splits down the middle because everything associated with that person changes. All their friends or all the memories they shared with you shatter.
Then you eventually get to a point where you genuinely believe you have moved on until you see them with other people. It is a mortifying feeling knowing that someone has moved on and you haven't.
Lastly, you start to blame yourself. You start over analyzing the situation and looking at all the different things you could have done.
The truth is, if you haven't come across an end to a relationship you probably will. I know this sounds depressing but it is important to know that you are not the only one.
We all are constantly changing an growing as life carries on and so are other people. Sometimes, there comes a time where 2 people who were once so in sync, soulmates, change. Their paths split. This happens all the time and it is truly heartbreaking especially to those important close relationships. But is this a reason to say "you may have f%&*ed up a little"?. No, it is not your fault you changed and it is not your fault someone else changed. Life happens to each and everyone of us.
So then we get to something called 'moving on'. If you had to sit and define what you think it is, do you think it is the same for everyone else? I used to be one of those people that 'buries things under the carpet' instead of dealing with it. And so the issue would keep occurring until I dealt with it.I've learned that it is easier to deal with something with maturity and time instead of burying it just so I can feel numb. Obviously this is not how everyone should 'move on', sometimes burying it works for people sometimes it doesn't. The key thing here is to figure out what the best way is for you to move on.
Here is an interesting quote, I stumbled upon.
When we lose relationships that mean so much, people who say "time heals all wounds" are annoying.
That is not what we want to hear. But I think it is true in the sense that in time, it gets less painful and you think about it less. When I read this quote, it was exactly how I felt with the original quote. It is in fact that time does not heal the wound because it is always going to be there. Eventually, we try to move on by sewing up our broken heart so that the pain is less. But it is never really gone. That person will always be in our hearts. What matters is that we are able to come to our senses and let the scar tissue decrease the pain so that we can move on to relationships that meant for that moment in time. Everything happens for a reason (I believe) and by moving on and closing one door, we are able to open many others which will bring joy and happiness and light.
Which ever stage you might find yourself in at one time or another, know two things;
You are not alone & when you figure out hot to move on, things will get better... way better!
~ S
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xoxo