If you're feeling blue, try painting yourself a different colour...

It is so often in life where we find ourselves down in the dumps wondering how it is that we got to this place.
We look at all the people around us and start to point fingers at who is responsible for us feeling this way. We hurt others and even lose focus on our life goals.

The truth is, when we are feeling down, it is us that we let feel this way. We give ourselves permission to be sad and then pity ourselves for it. A pity party is not what is going to pull us out of this black hole, no, what we need is to change our mindsets. We need to change how we view the world and how view ourselves within a frame that is more positive. We need to believe that within us all lies the potential and strength that only we can perform in order to 'stop feeling blue'.

It is easy to talk about what we need or should do to be happy again but the question remains as to how...
Well, taking some time to think about one's self from an outsider point of view will show life in a broader perspective. Secondly, highlighting one's negative thoughts and feelings of guilt and blame so that those are the ones targeted by transforming them into feelings of courage and empowerment. By thinking about who you are blaming, for instance, and pointing a finger at yourself will illustrate the control you thought you didn't have before and show you that you can control a better life for yourself. You have the power to change your colour. Only you can change your life.

We all feel down at some point or another. Sometimes more than others. The thing is life has seasons and nothing lasts forever. Feeling down or blue won't last forever. Why? Because within us all, we have the ability to CHANGE and CONTROL our lives. Within ourselves we have the courage and strength to understand and so why not paint ourselves a different colour? It is time for us to be active in our feelings instead of passively passing the blame to others. We may even feel that certain situations are out of our control and that is why we're down but no, your feelings to that situation are completely in YOUR control.

So what do you choose?

~ S

This is YOUR life, are you who YOU want to be?

This Is Your Life - Switchfoot

"Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you've got now
Yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes

This is your life are you who you want to be?
This is your life are you who you want to be?

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

And you had everything to lose"

There always comes a time in our lives where we wonder, are we who we want to be and where we want to be. We wonder if we have done enough or if there is enough time to do more. Sometimes things don't work out and you sit and feel sorry for yourself. Sometimes you don't have the career you wanted, or the friends you thought you had are drifting away, maybe you've lost some people or just lost yourself along this path called life. Things don't work out the way we want them to. If it did then where would there be space to grow? Things go wrong for a reason. Maybe you are not in the career you wanted because it was never part of your destiny or maybe your friends drifted apart because they are no longer on the same life path as you and that leaves room to meet other people who are on the same path. We lose some people because they did what they needed to do on this earth and they needed to move on to something else. If you've lost your meaning for life, it is life telling you to grow up. It is always those most uncomfortable situations where we feel the most pain that we learn the most. 

"When the world was younger and you had everything to lose"How true is this statement. When we are young, we show less fear because we knew we had everything to lose but as we get older, it gets harder to change and to take risk because we fear change. But no matter how old you are, or where you are in your life, there is always space to grow and there is always room for change. Change is one of the most inevitable things life has to offer and instead of fearing it we must embrace it because it is change that takes us out of those darkest moments. It is change that helps us to grow. It is change that allows us to see life in perspective.

So now you reading this post and wondering okay cool this relates to me but what do I do now?
The first thing you do is to realize you are not alone and that there are many people relating to this post.
Then you think about all the things that have gone RIGHT in your life. Think of all those things and be grateful for them.
Then you need to make changes, think of all the negative things and how you can change it, make new friends, find hobbies, get creative, work on your existing relationships, whatever you feel needs work.
Watch how you start to find your way again. Watch how you start to realize, wait this is the life I want this is who I want to be.

Remember, this is YOUR life, you have control over how you see the world. You have the ability to make choices of how you choose to respond to situations. Your life is yours for the taking so make it a good one.

Much love
~ S
P.S: please feel free to leave comments!
xoxo

Like Seasons, People Change Too...

"Seeing people change isn't what hurts.
What hurts is remembering who they used to be."

It is inevitable that in life everything is constantly changing. We are constantly adapting to new things. If everything were to be the same then we would never grow. However, it seems a lot of heartbreak and conflict arises when someone we know changes. It is almost universal, every one of us have had or have someone in our lives who changed or is changing and there is nothing we could have done or can do about it. We often get those quotes about how people shouldn't change for anyone but people do. People change when something happens to them or when something doesn't happen to them. As we grow we all change.

Sometimes, people don't change for the good. Sometimes they may become superficial and shallow. Sometimes they may become withdrawn and detached from everyone. It is hard to be left behind. It is difficult letting go of that person because they are no longer who you thought they were because they have changed into someone you don't even know. Unfortunately in life, we get those people that stay in our lives forever and those that don't. Certain people are in your life for a reason and sometimes when there is no longer a reason, they leave. It is so difficult mourning the friend you once had that perhaps you felt were even soul mates. But people change.

I learned a valuable thing that is helpful particularly in this situation. Mentalisation.
Mentalisation is a concept used by a therapist or counselor. The way to understand it is through this example; You get a mother and a baby and so when the baby cries, the mother responds. If they baby keeps on crying, the mother tries alternate methods to care for the babies needs. If the mother is frustrated then the baby gets frustrated. This is kind of like a therapy session where by a therapist needs to mentalise the clients situation and treat the clients needs. If the therapist is frustrated then they are unable to understand the clients situation.

The relevance of this is because when you are sad and upset about a friend or partner who has changed, you gotta mentalise and understand that there are certain things that have happened in their lives to have made them change. There are things that they are dealing with and trying to adapt to. When you are able to be neutral and isolate your feels of sadness and despair, you are able to understand that they changed because they are going through hard times themselves. It is important to realise too that people are not permanent and people walk in and out of our lives all the time. We all experience loss at some time or another but we need to learn from it. Everything does happen for a reason and sometimes these reasons are not clear. Certain people teach us certain things about life and about ourselves and that is the important thing to learn. We need to embrace loss and welcome new friendships and relationships so we can keep growing. Those that are meant to be in our lives will be and those who are not will walk their own different path.

Hope this post helps anyone dealing with this issue. Remember to mentalise! (:


P.S. don't forget to follow my QUOTES on twitter @HerQuoteBook

xoxo

Quotes of the Day

This could not be more true. More often than not we fail to realise the importance of telling people exactly how we feel. Truth is, we never really know when it will be too late.

It is important to remember that suffering exists in order for us to overcome it and the overcoming of it makes us into to better people.

That is really the whole aim of this blog; to show people that they are not alone. There is always someone somewhere feeling the same way you do. There is always someone somewhere who cares how you feel, you just got to make the choice to see it and believe it.

Getting into a relationship because you fear being alone is possibly the worst thing you can do because you then settle. Don't settle! Work on yourself and be happy and comfortable when you are alone and then you will be ready to love!

Beautiful Quotes for Everyone

Sometimes it is just what we need. We need to escape from reality so that we can just be ourselves with no limits or constraints telling us what to do or how to be. Dreams are truly our own product and so sometimes it is special to just visit that unique original place

Not everyone likes to say that they enjoy change. Change is difficult as we have to step out of our comfort zone and face whatever challenges life may throw at us. Change is never permanent so when you face a difficult time, remember that it is temporary and you are going through this to grow and become a better person.

It seems that in today's society, gossip and bullying are becoming more prevalent. I ask you, what is the point of it? It only makes people feel like they are worth nothing. So instead of spreading hate, stop yourself and rather say something nice because making someone feel better about themselves is going to make you feel better about yourself.

I truly agree with this quote. It shows true courage and strength when you hear about the stories of people who carried on in life in the face of adversity and because they did that, many good things came their way. If we get up every time we fall, we are inadvertently telling the universe that we can get knocked down but we will always get back up no matter how hard the blow.

Life is a constant process of going somewhere but when you eventually get to that place, the results are most worthwhile

It happens far too many times where people give up just before the finish line. When you feel like you can't go on any more, you need to reflect on why you have held on for so long and then you will realise why its worthwhile carrying on.

Sometimes people need to look deeper than face value because beauty is not always an external element. Sometimes it is within.

Your mind is your most powerful tool. It is what makes you strong. There have been many miraculous stories of people who were dying but lived longer than the doctors predicted because of their state of mind. Your mind can also make you weak if you let it. Sometimes we may overanalyse a situation and create things that are not really there. It is important to realise the strength of your mind and to use for the good. When life gets you down or when you get burned, you can choose whether you fall victim to it or you can rise up against it by not letting it affect you.