Six Degrees of Separation

"First, you think the worst is a broken heart
What's gonna kill you is the second part
And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle
And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself
Fifth, you see them out with someone else
And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have f%&*ed up a little." - The Script

 Listen to the song here! 

Whilst these lyrics are written specifically for people who have had a bad breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend, I feel it is rather relevant for any relationship.

So often, we begin new relationships and end others. It is always exciting to begin new connections yet it is so difficult to end ones that once meant so much.
When I heard this, I really connected with it because it is true that there are stages of grief we all go through.

The broken heart is always the first. That moment when you physically feel as if your heart has torn apart. It almost feels as if all functioning ceases to exist.
The second part that is not mentioned, for me, is the coming to terms with the loss.
The third is when your world splits down the middle because everything associated with that person changes. All their friends or all the memories they shared with you shatter.
Then you eventually get to a point where you genuinely believe you have moved on until you see them with other people. It is a mortifying feeling knowing that someone has moved on and you haven't.
Lastly, you start to blame yourself. You start over analyzing the situation and looking at all the different things you could have done.

The truth is, if you haven't come across an end to a relationship you probably will. I know this sounds depressing but it is important to know that you are not the only one.

We all are constantly changing an growing as life carries on and so are other people. Sometimes, there comes a time where 2 people who were once so in sync, soulmates, change. Their paths split. This happens all the time and it is truly heartbreaking especially to those important close relationships. But is this a reason to say "you may have f%&*ed up a little"?. No, it is not your fault you changed and it is not your fault someone else changed. Life happens to each  and everyone of us.

So then we get to something called 'moving on'. If you had to sit and define what you think it is, do you think it is the same for everyone else? I used to be one of those people that 'buries things under the carpet' instead of dealing with it. And so the issue would keep occurring until I dealt with it.I've learned that it is easier to deal with something with maturity and time instead of burying it just so I can feel numb. Obviously this is not how everyone should 'move on', sometimes burying it works for people sometimes it doesn't. The key thing here is to figure out what the best way is for you to move on.

Here is an interesting quote, I stumbled upon.
When we lose relationships that mean so much, people who say "time heals all wounds" are annoying.
That is not what we want to hear. But I think it is true in  the sense that in time, it gets less painful and you think about it less. When I read this quote, it was exactly how I felt with the original quote. It is in fact that time does not heal the wound because it is always going to be there. Eventually, we try to move on by sewing up our broken heart so  that the pain is less. But it is never really gone. That person will always be in our hearts. What matters is that we are able to come to our senses and let the scar tissue decrease the pain so that we can move on to relationships that meant for that moment in time. Everything happens for a reason (I believe) and by moving on and closing one door, we are able to open many others which will bring joy and happiness and light.

Which ever stage you might find yourself in at one time or another, know two things;
You are not alone & when you figure out hot to move on, things will get better... way better!

~ S

Leave a comment if you like :)
@HerQuoteBook (Twitter)

xoxo

Spring Quotes

 Here are some of my favourite recent finds...

Those songs that help you give you answers are for me the universe sending a message, Everything happens for a reason and so when a particular song is played at a particular time in your life you can't help but to think why.

Letting go is sometimes the biggest relief as it allows you to open your eyes to your experiences in stead of sweating the small stuff

Say this to yourself everyday

Those consecutive days where nothing seems to go right, remember this quote.
Remember that it is just a bad time and it will pass just like everyday the sun manages to rise.

What this is saying is that you need to take chances and be uncomfortable in order to grow. Being in the safe zone has not served anyone amazing opportunities to grow as a person.

Just plain physics :)

You make mistakes and you learn from them (so we hope). You become the person you are because of your ability to overcome this mistakes and to learn from them. You are so much more than 'mistakes'.

This quote really rings true for me as I embark on a year where my odds are small but even though we land up in situations where we are faced with the odds we need to look beyond that. Instead of contending with those odds we step away thinking 'I would have never made it'. But how would you know if you walked away? Sometimes you got to realise it is not the odds that matter but the passion and drive you have within yourself to over throw these odds.

It is the little things...

Nothing like letting go on a run or walk or gym session...

The wound is where we learn..

Words to live by

Hope you enjoyed them!

~S

PS: don't forget to leave comments or follow @HerQuoteBook on twitter for more!

xoxo

If you're feeling blue, try painting yourself a different colour...

It is so often in life where we find ourselves down in the dumps wondering how it is that we got to this place.
We look at all the people around us and start to point fingers at who is responsible for us feeling this way. We hurt others and even lose focus on our life goals.

The truth is, when we are feeling down, it is us that we let feel this way. We give ourselves permission to be sad and then pity ourselves for it. A pity party is not what is going to pull us out of this black hole, no, what we need is to change our mindsets. We need to change how we view the world and how view ourselves within a frame that is more positive. We need to believe that within us all lies the potential and strength that only we can perform in order to 'stop feeling blue'.

It is easy to talk about what we need or should do to be happy again but the question remains as to how...
Well, taking some time to think about one's self from an outsider point of view will show life in a broader perspective. Secondly, highlighting one's negative thoughts and feelings of guilt and blame so that those are the ones targeted by transforming them into feelings of courage and empowerment. By thinking about who you are blaming, for instance, and pointing a finger at yourself will illustrate the control you thought you didn't have before and show you that you can control a better life for yourself. You have the power to change your colour. Only you can change your life.

We all feel down at some point or another. Sometimes more than others. The thing is life has seasons and nothing lasts forever. Feeling down or blue won't last forever. Why? Because within us all, we have the ability to CHANGE and CONTROL our lives. Within ourselves we have the courage and strength to understand and so why not paint ourselves a different colour? It is time for us to be active in our feelings instead of passively passing the blame to others. We may even feel that certain situations are out of our control and that is why we're down but no, your feelings to that situation are completely in YOUR control.

So what do you choose?

~ S

How to Win...

"The world aint all sunshine and rainbows.
It is a very mean and nasty place.
It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life.
BUT,
It aint about how hard you hit.
It is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward,
how much you can take and keep moving forward.
That is how WINNING is done."

 When I came across this quote, I was really inspired. It happens more often than not that life kicks us and beats us to the point where we are unable to get up. At some point in everyone's life, they will feel what it is like to hit rock bottom. It is a dark scary place that seems as if there is no ladder to get out. Life is cruel and tends to serve the notion "every man for himself" and sometimes, you may be nice to people but get run over in doing so. Sometimes, you may take a risk and have to suffer its consequences rather than its rewards. Sometimes, you lose friendships or relationships that were your crutches in coping with life.
Whatever the case, it happens.

But, the truth of it, is that only remarkable stories exist from people who rose from those dark places.

"Rock bottom and rebuilding your life"

People who were able to climb out of their hole and try again are the most successful. Not only are they the most successful but they know the meaning of success and failure making them grateful for where they are.
They say that being grateful for something is the most powerful energy you can send out to the universe.
The strength it takes to pick yourself up when the world shows you its cruelty is what winning is all about.

So if you are currently going through this, know that it does not last forever and that if you just keep moving forward then you are a winner. By just having the strength and courage to TRY again is what makes people great.

"Keep moving forward"

"It's only after you have lost everything that you
are FREE to do anything"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Much love
~ S
P.S: please feel free to leave comments!
xoxo