Life is short…Are YOU living it to the fullest?

“You never know the biggest day of your life is the biggest day.
Not until it’s happening.
You don’t recognise the biggest day of your life.
Not until you are right in the middle of it.
The day you commit to something/someone.
The day you get your heart broken.
The day you meet your soul mate.
The day you realise there’s not enough time because you want to live forever.
Those are the biggest days, the perfect days”- Greys Anatomy

I chose this quote as it is one of my favourites. The truth is, life is short. Years are gone before you know it. Months fly. We always say ‘wow I can’t believe it is the end of the year already’.  The one thing in life that is unknown is the future. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Unfortunately death is inevitable. Most of us live to see our parents die. Some of us even experience the loss of a sibling or partner. I have another Greys quote that is on just this:

“Did you say it?
‘I love you’,
‘I don’t want to live without you’,
‘you changed my life’.
Did you say it?
Make a plan, set a goal and work toward it.
But every now and then look around, drink it in because this is it.
It might all be gone tomorrow” – Greys Anatomy

The quote speaks for itself. So many times in life, out loved ones walk out the door never to return and we never got the chance to tell them what they mean to us. We never got the chance to say goodbye. Life is unexpected and I truly believe that at the end of the day you need to be grateful that you made it and you need to express gratitude to everyone around you because you never know when it will be too late. You need to go to sleep knowing that you are on good terms with everyone. Can you imagine if you had a huge fight with someone you love and never got the chance to apologise? Even if it is an ego issue, say sorry and move on. Life is too short to hold grudges and too seek revenge. We need to enjoy every moment we have and to be grateful for everything good in our lives.

Here is a beautiful poem about death.

“I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning… to the end.
He noted that first came her date of birth
and spoke the following dates with tears, 1964-1994
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that’s she spent alive on earth…
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars.. the house..the cash,
what matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash

So think about this long and hard.
are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real.
and always try to  understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.
Remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So when you eulogy’s being read
with your life’s actions to rehash
would you be proud of the things they say
and how you spend your dash?” – Linda Ellis

The thing to remember is from reading this post, is remember that time is limited, remember to tell those you love that you love them. Hug people, kiss people. Live your life to the fullest because like the poem said, you want to know you have out in all that you can in that dash and that your life is one worth remembering. <3 

Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf

Being part of a counselling unit, I have been taught the art of listening. I often feel because if the knowledge I have gained from this experience, I often identify or am more aware now of people who don't listen. To illustrate this specific point, we did an experiment where half the counsellors were told to exit the room and the other half remained inside. The counsellors that left the room were told to tell a specific story as if they were the client. The counsellors in the room were told not to speak but to listen with nodding and eye contact. As the other counsellors entered the silent room, they all sat down at their designated counsellor and began to act out their story but as time went on, the general atmosphere in the room changed from being calm to frustration. The counsellors telling the story got frustrated that the counsellor was not responding back with words. The point of this exercise was to show us that when people talk or have a problem that they are telling you about, they expect a verbal response. Just responding to someone in such a way that all you are saying is the emotions that you are noticing in them like 'I can see this is really upsetting you' is showing that person that you are really listening. A lot of the time, I have personally experienced having a dilemma and telling it to someone close and they don't have anything to say back. It can be so frustrating. But what I find more frustrating is when you are asking for advice and that person you are asking advice from tells you their own experience. Well I acknowledge that this person is probably trying to help you by telling you what they did when they were in a similar circumstance it is not helpful as they are not you! If you are in a situation and you are asking advice, it is about YOU and YOUR situation, but when someone comes along and is telling you about THEIR experience then it no longer becomes about you and thus the advice doesn't really help. It is like a shoe, your shoes don't necessarily fit someone else's foot and vice versa. If someone you seek advice from is telling you all about the way they dealt with this problem then are they really listening to you and your issue? The lesson that is meant to be learned here is that just listening and responding where you are reflecting someone's feelings instead of talking about yourself.

Just remember:

"Most of the successful people I've known are the ones who do more listening that talking"